One of my favorite things to discuss with clients on my initial interview is the movie “Jerry Maguire”.  For my clients who are old enough to remember the film (yes, really), I bring them back to the famous scene in the locker room where Tom Cruise is pleading with Cuba Gooding, Jr., “HELP ME HELP YOU!”  For a lawyer and a client, this scene has great importance.

One of the most important conversations a lawyer must have in the initial consultation learning the goals of the client and converting making a set of realistic goals that can be accomplished.  A client with clear goals is a happy client.  A client with uncertain and changing goals will always be an unhappy client and will have an unhappy lawyer.  Experience has taught me that a client who is unsure what they want to accomplish will never be happy with the legal process because they have no clear goals that they are fighting for and why they are spending money doing so.  The lawyer will be unhappy because it is usually very difficult to nail down the moving target of ever changing expectations.  Further, in spite of popular belief, all lawyers want happy clients.  We all want that feeling of satisfaction that comes from a job well done.  Happy clients are made happy from a clear set of goals that are made realistic through good counseling from the attorney.

Finally, communication with your attorney is crucial.  Attorneys don’t need to know what you ate for breakfast that morning, but they do need to know all of the relevant facts that pertain to the goals set between attorney and client.  Over the years, I have clients who are reluctant to update me on their lives.  These clients can be very frustrating because I want happy clients.

Let me explain.  If you take your car to a mechanic and tell the mechanic that the car is driving sluggishly, but you fail to tell the mechanic that you haven’t changed the oil in 15,000 miles, the mechanic may waste a lot of time and money attempting to repair a problem that could have been quickly resolved if he had only been given appropriate information.  Lawyers are exactly the same.  Information is crucial to success.

Let’s be successful together.  Help me help you.  Never underestimate the importance of clear attainable goals and communication.

Just when sports fans across the country thought they had heard the last from “Neon” Deion Sanders, the retired flamboyant defensive back has managed to work his way back into the news.  Unfortunately, this time it wasn’t for kick returns or interceptions, but rather for his very public handling of a family law issue.

According to Twitchy.com, an aggregator of postings on social network Twitter, at some point mid-day on April 23, 2012 the former Dallas Cowboy tweeted live as estranged wife Pilar allegedly attacked him at his Dallas, Texas home — right in front of the couple’s two sons.

Sanders first tweeted this:

@DeionSanders Pray for me and my kids now! They just witnessed their mother and a friend jump me in my room. She’s going to jail n I’m pressing charges!

Then, Sanders tweeted this:

@DeionSanders I’m sad my boys witnessed this mess but I warned the police department here that she was gone try n harm me and my boys. This is on my mama!

Finally, Sanders tweeted the following message, and included with it a link to a photo of the former football star and his children filling out police reports:

@DeionSanders Filling out police reports now! Thank God for this platform to issue the Truth.

Most of the responses noted at the Twitchy site were not friendly to Mr. Sanders.  Yahoo! Sports columnist Dan Wetzel pointed out that “when Twitter was invented, no one envisioned live Deion Sanders domestic dispute updates.”  One woman suggested to Sanders that he “stop using your kids” and “get their picture off Twitter.”  Another woman blasted Sanders, stating that he “needs to log off Twitter and tend to his family issues.”

Personally, dealing with the issues we deal with at The LaMantia Law Firm on a daily basis, I cannot underscore enough how important it is to build a record of what is going on.  Judges in the Family Court here in South Carolina have quite a bit on their plate and have no help from law clerks to sort through everything — for that reason, every case is essentially a case of first impression, and a well-organized record serves the interests of any client in two ways:

First, a well-built record provides evidential support in a practice area often dominated by unsupported he said-she said arguments.  Arguing that a spouse said one irresponsible or shocking thing or another in a certain situation is just fine, for example, but showing the text messages sent from that spouse to the judge as an exhibit to an affidavit is far more effective.

In a recent case, our client’s estranged spouse is an angry, angry person, and our client’s account of what she said during a particular verbal altercation is gripping.  Even better, however, is that we have a word-for-word transcript of what was said.  And, even better than that — we have an audio recording.  Without that transcript and audio recording (our client activated a smartphone application after enduring the spouse’s angry tirades before) it would merely be our client’s paraphrased word against the spouse’s word; now, however, we can not only show exactly what was said, but the court can actually experience the spouse’s anger.

Second, the act of organizing a well-built and comprehensive record is an excellent way for attorneys like Anthony, Allison and myself to become so extensively acquainted with the client’s file as a whole that we end up knowing the facts as well as the client themselves.  Knowing a file backwards and forwards in such a way provides for the kind of detailed recall that can only help in the litigation process.

So, what are some ways to build a complete and comprehensive record?  Here are some suggestions:

• Keep a daily diary.  Even if no further evidential support exists, being able to inform the court that “on this particular day and at this particular time, this particular event happened” is much better than merely recalling the event without the extra detail.  Be sure to keep track of not only dates and times of events, but also how those events made you feel.

• When possible, only communicate through text and e-mail.  Text messages and e-mail messages can be easily printed out, whereas telephone conversations or personal conversations are subject to the uncertainty of he said-she said disparities.

• Take photographs.  While I’m not saying to give your children a top-to-bottom inspection like an agent accepting the return of a rental car, if your child consistently returns from visitation with new scrapes, bumps and bruises that simply cannot be a result of a kid just being a kid, photographic evidence of the sort that can be time-stamped is an absolute must.

• Use social media.  No, don’t take to your Facebook wall to denigrate your current or former significant other; those who come across as vindictive rarely achieve their goals.  Instead, use social media as a way to show everything you do with your children, or as a way to proclaim that staying at home with a small glass of wine and a good book is preferable to going out on the town while currently involved in a divorce.

• Be a pack rat.  Get a new report card from the children?  Receive a new bank statement in the mail?  Take home a receipt from CostCo after buying the economy sized box of diapers?  Don’t throw them out!  Those are all items that can be used to buttress arguments in court that could otherwise fall flat without evidential support.  It’s one thing to tell the court that, “yes, I’m the one that takes little Timmy to check-ups all the time” — it’s a whole lot better to show that you were the one who paid the bill after the pediatrician did his or her thing.

There are many, many ways to build a record.  Think of what you want to tell the court about what’s going on, and consider the best way to prove what you’re wanting to say.  All that being said, however, it is very important that the record being built is being put together in a responsible way.

As noted above, photographs can be extremely useful.  However, telling your child that you’re logging his or her injuries so you can tell your lawyer is probably not a good thing.  Be creative; find a way to achieve the desired results without burdening your child with the current situation.  Using social media can be fantastic, too, but if your kids are also on Facebook or Twitter, be wary of what you say or what you insinuate with regard to your marital or custody proceedings.

I have absolutely no problem that Deion Sanders’ first instinct was to preserve the record of his estranged wife’s interference with his peaceful enjoyment of life.  Where I have a problem is in his further involvement of his children in the marital litigation.

Here in South Carolina, what the children witnessed would be something that should have been told to a Guardian ad Litem.  In my opinion, having the children fill out dad’s name as “victim” and mom’s name as “subject” in the local agency’s Incident Report causes more harm than good — both to the children and to Mr. Sanders’s case.

First of all, the children are already likely under enough stress due to a divorce already deemed “ugly” by Yahoo! News; these boys should be worried about getting their homework done, having fun with friends, competing in Little League, and finishing the school year up strongly — not being witnesses to dad’s case against mom.  Secondly, while I cannot speak for the Family Court in the Lone Star State, here in the Palmetto State the court frowns quite clearly on any involvement of the children in marital or custody proceedings.

Anything of value added to Mr. Sanders’ case due to the availability of two extra witnesses will be overshadowed by the court’s perception of Mr. Sanders as a father who is not above using his children as pawns in his marital litigation.  Ms. Sanders already involved the children.  Ms. Sanders already did the dirty work and made things significantly more difficult for herself.  Mr. Sanders should have done his level best to extricate and insulate the children from the situation; involving them in the way he did takes away from the brazen nature of Ms. Sanders’ disregard for the best interests of the children.

Here in South Carolina, marital and custodial matters can be very nuanced, and given the nature of the Family Court, perception is everything.  Here at The LaMantia Law Firm, we would be more than happy to discuss the details of your case with you — call me, call Anthony, or call Allison to schedule a free consultation.

It is well established that, in South Carolina, public policy favors the institution of marriage, as affirmed recently by our Supreme Court in the case of Theisen v. Theisen.  It is also well established that the Family Court disfavors romantically involved adults who live in the same home without the benefit of being married when one or the other’s minor children reside in the same household.  Numerous parents have lost custody of their children because they are “living in sin” with their romantic companion.  (See Chastain v Chastain, 381 SC 295 (Ct. App. 2009).  Our state legislature has even gone so far as to make this a crime. SC Code 16-15-60.  This bar against romantically involved adults living with one another without the benefit of marriage and with their children applies equally to homosexual relationships and heterosexual relationships, leaving one to ponder – Are we blackmailing people into marriage?  See Stroman v. Williams, 291 SC 276 (Ct. App. 1987).

Within the last month, I have married two couples and married another this week, solely to help a parent either gain or retain custody of their children and attempting to avoid the Family Court’s determination that the parent engaged in the romantic relationship is living in an immoral home environment and thus exposing the children to their parent’s legislatively determined “immorality”.

While it may be a funny thing for a divorce lawyer to say, I am a big proponent of marriage and have been married for over fourteen years.  I believe that marriage can be a wonderful thing for adults and children alike.  But what ae we try to accomplish by forcing people to marry in order to maintain custody or overnight visitation with their children?  Does a license really set the standard for an individual’s morality, and conversely, their ability to parent their children?

In general, we as a society want people to marry because they are ready to make a deep and longstanding legal and social commitment to one another and we ask Americans enjoy the freedom to choose our spouse.  On the other hand, it is commonly claimed that over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.  It would be interesting to know what the divorce rate is of people who married one another because they wished to remain living with their significant other while not losing custody or overnight visitation with their children.  I suspect that the divorce rate of these marriages will be higher simply because the parties have been forced into marriage.  By forcing people to marry, are we not also increasing the divorce rate and the resulting societal dysfunction which we were trying to avoid to begin with by encouraging the marriage?  Ultimately, what can be the success rate of people forced to marry for the wrong reasons?

If our societal goal is to perpetuate the institution of marriage, our mission has been accomplished.  If our societal goal is to support long lasting marriages and a healthy society, how can we do this if people are blackmailed to the altar or the justice of the peace?  In other words, if our society compels people to marry for the wrong reasons, aren’t we doing society and our children a disservice by imposing a life plan on them that may not be what is in their best interests?  Should morality be legislated by our government?

Sometimes, folks, he (or she) is just not that into you.

In the span of 24 hours, she allegedly called her ex-lover 146 times.

Police said she shattered several of the windows of his west Houston home, first with a tire iron, and then with a 5-foot sword.

She is accused of egging his house on several occasions, and posting pictures of herself bragging about it on her Facebook page.

Main, 62, did not respond to a voicemail or an email seeking comment. Main told police officers he dated Silvey briefly in 2009 and has been reluctant to file charges against her because “he is afraid of angering (her) further.”

Main told police that Silvey called him 1,001 times and sent him 712 emails over a span of less than three months, starting in mid-June. One day in August, she allegedly called him 146 times, investigators said.

While the protagonist and antagonist in the linked story above were merely lovers and were neither married nor parents of the same child, it goes without saying that divorce and child custody matters are highly emotional matters and, on occasion, emotions definitely can get the better of all of us.  Thankfully, in cases like the one in the linked story above, the Family Court in South Carolina provides spouses and former spouses with protection against the kind of harassment in the Houston Chronicle piece.

Come speak with us at The LaMantia Law Firm. We will be happy to discuss your options with you. Call us anytime — just try to keep the number of phone calls under 1,000 if at all possible.

Couples cite Facebook in one out of five US divorces, say Loyola University researchers —and 81% of divorce lawyers report a rise in cases using social networks as evidence, ZDNet reports. For cases that do make use of online evidence, Facebook is by far the biggest source, according to 66% of attorneys in a recent survey. As for the network’s relationship-busting role, “we’re coming across it more and more,” says a psychologist.

Some of the very first questions that our attorneys will ask a client when marital fidelity or a child’s health, welfare and well-being is concerned is whether or not their spouse or parental counterpart has a Facebook page, whether that page is open for them to see, and whether they have seen anything that raises suspicion of infidelity or child endangerment.

Change your Facebook settings to “private,” folks.  And if you are looking at an extended custody battle with your parental counterpart, make sure they’re not on your “friends” list.

Fashionistas everywhere can thank jewelers Spritzer and Furman for this 18-karat gold split heart ring being marketed as one to wear if you’ve gotten a divorce. Oh — and it’s only $3,200! Now you’ll never be able to forget your ex again!

I just don’t see where there would be a demand for a bauble like this. First thing’s first: The ring itself is heinous. It makes me think of something a Power Ranger would wear on a date. And while I love gold and would want my engagement ring to be gold, this gold looks ridiculous. Not to mention, the design is hideous. The triangular diamond looks like a dagger, don’t you think?

I also have to ask: After a heart-wrenching split, aren’t there a lot of other things you would rather spend $3,200 on than a ring to remind you of your newfound singledom? Like, oh, I don’t know, a trip to Las Vegas with your girlfriends or a much nicer looking piece of jewelry that doesn’t make you think of your ex every time you get a glimpse of your hand?

The author is right — the ring is hideous.  Click on the link above if you want to see a photo.

Despite the tongue-in-cheek nature of the original story, there is a lesson here.  Divorce–and really any Family Law action–is a life-changing experience, the closure of one chapter and the opening of another.  Some people want to celebrate that, and those that do generally do so in their own special way.  Here at The LaMantia Law Firm, we have had clients go out for “drinks with the girls,” take photos with us at the courthouse, and go on solo backpacking trips through Europe as a way of celebrating the closure and stability that a Final Order can provide.  We even had someone tattoo the date of her divorce on her foot.

The point is, however you want to celebrate the opening of a new chapter in your life … well, that’s up to you.  We just want to help you get there.

Anthony P. LaMantia, III, Esq.

“I believe that through advocacy for my client’s rights and interests, I am serving my community. My experience as an attorney has shown me that each case is unique, just as each client is unique, and that some cases can be managed with minimal conflict, while others may require intense litigation to achieve the desired result.”
[Click here to learn more about Anthony.]

Allison J. LaMantia, Esq.

“Children are our greatest resource and must be reassured at all times that they are not to blame for the turmoil that the adults in their life are experiencing. By remaining focused on the family, I believe that together we can navigate the tough times and embrace the future with hope, health and peace.”
[Click here to learn more about Allison.]

Jeffrey M. Schreiber, Esq.

“The most joyous aspects of my relatively young career present themselves when I have the opportunity to watch our clients grow stronger with each passing day. I take pleasure in helping our clients achieve stability that they didn’t have when we first met.”
[Click here to learn more about Jeff.]

Jeff took the long road to his law degree, receiving his Juris Doctor from Rutgers University School of Law in Camden, New Jersey in 2010, nearly ten years to the day after receiving his undergraduate degree from Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama.

In June 2010, less than two weeks after receiving his law degree, Jeff relocated from the suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to Summerville, South Carolina, where he currently resides with his wife, Joanna, a Registered Nurse, and his two young children. Jeff began working in a support role for the LaMantia Law Firm, LLC in July 2010. Prior to working for Anthony and Allison, Jeff worked in Philadelphia for eight years as a News Reporter for Courthouse News Service, Inc., a California-based legal wire service.

In his spare time, Jeff is known to dabble in new media and national politics, and during most evenings can usually be found on the floor or in a swimming pool somewhere, playing with his son and daughter.

Jeff is licensed to practice law in South Carolina.

BAR ADMISSIONS

• State of South Carolina, 2012

EDUCATION

• Rutgers University School of Law – Camden, NJ (J.D., 2010)
• Auburn University (B.A., Journalism, 2000)

To speak to or schedule an appointment or free initial consultation with Jeff, either call the office at (843) 724-6363 or send him an e-mail at Jeff@LaMantiaLawFirm.com.

Conveniently located on East Bay Street in beautiful and historic downtown Charleston, South Carolina just steps from the Market and Waterfront Park, the LaMantia Law Firm is easily accessible from all areas of the Lowcountry, with convenient parking adjacent to the building.

From I-26 East

• Heading east on I-26, take Exit 219B toward Morrison Drive and East Bay Street.
• Make a left onto Morrison Drive, and follow Morrison Drive towards downtown Charleston.
• Morrison Drive becomes East Bay Street. Follow East Bay Street south towards the Battery.
• After passing Market Street, make a left at the next light onto Cumberland Street.
• A parking garage will be located on your right. Enter and park.
• Exit the parking garage on the side that would lead you directly to East Bay Street. There, you will be facing a three-story blue building. Our office is located on the third floor, and is accessible via the elevator located in the walkway leading from the parking lot to East Bay Street.

From Mount Pleasant

• Follow US-17 South across the Ravenel Bridge.
• Take the first exit on your right, marked East Bay Street/Morrison Drive.
• At the bottom of the ramp, make a left onto East Bay Street/Morrison Drive and follow the road towards downtown Charleston.
• Morrison Drive becomes East Bay Street. Follow East Bay Street south towards the Battery.
• After passing Market Street, make a left at the next light onto Cumberland Street.
• A parking garage will be located on your right. Enter and park.
• Exit the parking garage on the side that would lead you directly to East Bay Street. There, you will be facing a three-story blue building. Our office is located on the third floor, and is accessible via the elevator located in the walkway leading from the parking lot to East Bay Street.

From West of the Ashley River

• If coming across the Ashley River on US-17, head south on Lockwood Drive toward the Battery and make a left onto Calhoun Street.
• If coming across the James Island Connector, stay straight onto Calhoun Street.
• Once on Calhoun Street, follow Calhoun east until it intersects with East Bay Street and make a right onto East Bay Street.
• After passing Market Street, make a left at the next light onto Cumberland Street.
• A parking garage will be located on your right. Enter and park.
• Exit the parking garage on the side that would lead you directly to East Bay Street. There, you will be facing a three-story blue building. Our office is located on the third floor, and is accessible via the elevator located in the walkway leading from the parking lot to East Bay Street.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you need further directions! Our office number is (843) 724-6363, and we are here to help.